NY Journal News

Same-sex marriages debated

By SULAIMAN BEG
THE JOURNAL NEWS
(Original publication: May 21, 2004)

NYACK — Supporters and opponents of same-sex marriages defended their positions last night in a congenial discussion, where one side argued that same-sex marriages were against God's design and immoral and the other countered that the issue had nothing to do with religion, but rather, civil rights.

Four panelists for and four against the controversial issue discussed their views on amending the U.S. Constitution to allow same-sex marriages and later fielded questions from the audience of close to 100 gathered at the Nyack Center for the town hall-style meeting.

Opponents included an Orthodox Jew, a self-described "ex-lesbian" and two local pastors; supporters included the two attorneys representing 10 local couples, dubbed "The Nyack 10," who are suing to establish same-sex marriage rights in New York, a lesbian involved in the lawsuit and a lesbian who was married March 6.

"It's the healthy and God-given design that we want to support. We desire to see that continue in our country," said Eric Aiston, assistant pastor at Simpson Memorial Church in South Nyack, adding that instead of allowing same-sex marriages, other ways should be looked at to make sure gays and lesbians received the same financial rights and health benefits as heterosexual married couples.

Mayor John Shields, who hosted the event, and his partner are among the "Nyack 10," who filed a lawsuit March 12 against the state Department of Health and Orangetown Town Clerk Charlotte Madigan. The suit was filed after the couples were turned down when they went to Orangetown Town Hall to apply for marriage licenses.

"We're not in favor of civil unions, we're in favor of getting equal rights," said Norman Siegel, a former American Civil Liberties Union official. "To settle now would be less than the full equal rights. If straight folks can be married, gay people should have the same right. It's as simple as that."

The health department, which is being represented by the Attorney General's Office, obtained an extension and must file a response by Monday as must the town, said Siegel. The couples must respond to the state and town by June 4.

"I have yet to hear one cohesive argument that shows how my relationship will have an effect on a heterosexual marriage," said Toni Bonde, a mother of 5-year-old twin boys and, with her partner of 15 years, Claire, a plaintiff in the lawsuit. "I can't see it. The sky's not going to fall."

Still, Kim Hewitt of Stony Point, who said she sought solace for 22 years in female relationships after being sexually abused by males before marrying a man four years ago, disagreed.

"I believe, and not through brainwashing, ... that marriage is designed for a man and a woman. They are meant to complement each other," Hewitt said.

The meeting was sponsored by the Stonewall Democratic Club of Rockland County, the Rockland Coalition for Democracy and Freedom and the Fellowship of Reconciliation.

Same-sex marriage became a focal point in February after San Francisco began conducting same-sex marriage ceremonies, including one for former TV talk show host Rosie O'Donnell and her partner, Kelli Carpenter, who live in South Nyack. Shortly thereafter, New Paltz Mayor Jason West began marrying gay and lesbian couples. On Monday, Massachusetts became the first state to allow gay couples to marry.

Last month, members of the Westboro Baptist Church based in Topeka, Kan., picketed Nyack Village Hall and a local church that has a weekly service for members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered community. The anti-homosexual Westboro church purports that gays killed Jesus and refers to gays as "dogs."

In a display of solidarity, hundreds of Rockland residents showed up for counterprotests at both locations.

"Marriage, to me, is about love and commitment and being able to share it with people you love," said Suffern resident Nancy Seery-Wilson, who married her partner, Kimberly, in New Paltz. "And marriage is protection. It is security under the law."

But Monsey resident Richard Stolbach, a former teacher and county Legislature candidate, said despite being married for 22 years and having seven children, marriage was not about love.

"I love my wife, but I did not love her when I married her," Stolbach said. "It's not about love. Marriage has its roots in religion and doing what is right as a God-fearing Jew."

Reginald Jemison of Nyack loudly applauded after the Rev. Michael Johnson of Tallman Bible Church concluded a statement against same-sex marriages in which he called America the seventh empire, and "all previous six died out because of moral decay."

"God created us to serve him," said Jemison, who added that he did not hate anyone, but was just against same-sex marriages.

While supporters of same-sex marriages highlighted the nation's separation of church and state, Jean Black of South Nyack said anyone who is sworn into office takes an oath with a hand on the Bible.

"They make that person swear on what book?" she said in her support of banning same-sex marriages. "Not a psychology book."

Roz Zevola of Nyack said she and her partner of five years, Anne Ellsworth, had contemplated hurrying up and getting married "to make a point," but opted instead to wait.

"We're in a committed relationship, and we want to take it to the next step, just like everyone else," said Zevola, who works at the Birchwood Center. "We should have the same rights as every other couple."